Update: I’m hungry.

My husband and I just discussed what we’ve learned while participating for the last six days in the Daniel Fast.

John and I both agree that we have an entirely different view of food now. Until this week neither one of us realized how often we used to eat or in what large quantities.

With all the caffeine out of my system, it’s like a fog that I didn’t even know was there has been lifted. I’m sleeping better at night. For the last week I haven’t eaten anything with processed sugar or preservatives in it. I haven’t eaten anything I can’t pronounce or spell. I haven’t eaten things high in fat or calories.

I’m not going to lie though, I am hungry, even though there are a lot of foods I am able to eat. I’m hungry for bread, chicken and cereal, to name a few. I’m hungry for nonfood things too, like the ease of making everyone the same dinner or not having to shop at multiple grocery stores.

Surprisingly, I don’t start hyperventilating at the thought of Coke and vanilla chai tea. I definitely don’t think I’ll ever go back to drinking the amount of Coke that I used to.

Unfortunately though, I’ve taken this fast on as a “project.” Something that lacks the simplicity and calm for which it was intended. The point is to slow down, pray more, focus on food less. Instead, I’ve been anxious and nervous. I’m constantly thinking about what I can and can’t eat- the “rules,” if you will.

So here’s the biggest thing I’ve learned over the last week: I probably won’t make it for two more. It’s not because I can’t, but because I may have lost sight of the point. I also may be heading toward, once again, focusing on the food instead of on the Creator; this time the food is healthy, but I’m constantly worrying about what to eat.

But wait! I’m not writing this because I’m on my way to Panera Bread. I promise (however, yesterday my 3-year-old daughter sat on my lap in Panera eating a cinnamon crunch bagel; I’m not gonna lie, I thought I might eat her hand). I am writing this because, instead of staying on an ironclad schedule for the Daniel Fast, I need to be able to stop worrying about reaching day 21 and what people will say if I don’t and whether my faith will seem weak if I stop early.

I think I need to just stop with all the “quick ways to get to the heart of God” stuff and open my Bible more often. I need to seek after God daily. It’s pretty simple. It also doesn’t involve unsweetened almond milk- Praise Jesus!

I also think that by letting go of the stress of having to reach day 21, it’s possible I might make it another two weeks.

There. I made a commitment to blog about my hang-ups. Group therapy achieved! Check that off my list.

Now I can go stress out about whether I’m rationalizing just so I can eat carbs….I wish there was a Type-A Fast. That’s what I need.